Polished Dialogue

"Seriously? Can't We Just Drink Our Coffee?"

INT. DINING ROOM - EARLY EVENING

LINDA So I took this great class at the adult learning annex about the legal issues surrounding gender.

SEAN Oh yeah? I never really thought about that. What's the deal?

LINDA My professor just gave an interesting lecture on how it's wrong to legally define gender.[1]

SEAN What is that even supposed to mean?

LINDA Like on a driver's license or on a birth certificate, or on a passport.

SEAN Oh my god, seriously? What would the point even be?

LINDA It's not necessary and it's discriminatory.

SEAN How is it discriminatory? It's not like you can't get a driver's license because you're a woman, or a...

LINDA Yes but forcing an arbitrary designation on someone is wrong. It makes people define themselves using a social construct.[2]

SEAN Gender is not a social construct. It's a biological reality.

LINDA First of all, that's just not true. It's not even true that there's a clear border between male and female biologically speaking.[3]

SEAN You're pulling my leg, right?

LINDA If you don't want to think about it, we don't have to talk about it.

SEAN No, come on, really. What do you mean? Hermaphrodites? What are they, like one in a billion?

LINDA Nobody says hermaphrodite. Some people find it offensive. Most of the people you're talking about prefer to be called intersex. And that's a really small aspect of a much bigger issue.[4]

SEAN So what's the issue? It's not as if you can't tell who's a man and who's a woman. Right? You just... look  at their... stuff.

LINDA Stuff. nice.

SEAN I know, right?

LINDA I'm not saying it's hard to make a distinction for individuals. For most people, sure, you're either male or female.

SEAN That's exactly what I'm saying.

LINDA But the dividing line between male and female is not as clear as most people think it is. When a baby is born, doctors feel obligated to make a determination if it's male or female. If the answer to that isn't clear, they just decide.[5]

SEAN So? A doctor ought to know.

LINDA But a lot of them don't. And why does it matter? See, that's the thing. If they didn't need to fill out a form that declared the baby male or female, there wouldn't be any reason to enforce this decision on an infant who, as an adult, might decide the doctor was wrong.

SEAN Yeah but you're all for people living however they want, choosing their own identity. What difference does it make if the doctor is wrong? Kid grows up, changes his mind, lives however he wants to live.

LINDA If the doctor is wrong it's because the infant's genitals are... ambiguous.[6]

SEAN Ambiguous?

LINDA Do you really want the details?

SEAN Not particularly.

LINDA It doesn't matter. What matters is, sometimes when the doctor decides whether he needs to check the box next to male or female, they do surgery right then and there to enforce their choice. In the past they've done it without consulting the parents. Then later when the kid grows up, if the doctor was wrong, they mutilated a perfectly healthy kid for no reason.[7]

SEAN Ah, yeah. That's bad. That's horrible. But like you said, it's really rare. You're talking about taking it off driver's licenses and legal documents. I mean, you can make a rule against maiming infants without changing the way we do, you know, everything.

LINDA We don't even know that it's rare. It's probably underreported. But assume it's rare. Assume it almost never happens. Even still, why is gender such a big part of why we do everything? Why shouldn't women be able to hold all the same jobs as everyone else?

SEAN Oh, my god. They totally can.

LINDA On paper they can, most of the time. But not in the military. Not in a lot of fields. And women still get paid a lot less.[8]

SEAN But if we didn't record gender legally anywhere, how would we even know that?

LINDA What do you mean?

SEAN You just said there are all these places where women are still discriminated against.

LINDA Men are too. Courts still discriminate against men in divorce and custody cases.[9]

SEAN Fine, so men and women are both discriminated against based on gender. Women more than men, that's undeniable. But if we didn't record that information somewhere, how would we even know? It's not as if judges are going to start trusting men with their own children just because it doesn't say they're a man anywhere in any of the court documents. Divorced fathers still have to show up in front of a judge.

LINDA That sort of thing wouldn't end immediately, but it would be a step in the right direction.

SEAN And the equal pay thing.

LINDA I think it would actually help "the equal pay thing."

SEAN Not if nobody knows about it. If you don't keep track of people's gender, how can you even see the problem?

LINDA Most of  those statistics are based on surveys. You ask people questions about who they are and how much they make.

SEAN That would probably work. But what about violent crimes against women?

LINDA Legally defining gender isn't preventing them now. Ending it isn't going to make it worse.

SEAN Right, but women are victims of violent crimes way more than men. Especially rape. Even men who are raped are almost always raped by other men. And there are programs to try and do something about that. Educational programs for young men to teach them the meaning of consent, to get them to understand what date rape actually is, stuff like that.[10]

LINDA Why would any of that have to change?

SEAN Because programs like that need funding. And funding needs to get voted on by the government. When they bring these bills up in front of congress, the people proposing the bills can point to statistical data and say, "Hey, look, this is a problem, here are the numbers to prove it." You can't look at arrest records and court documents and analyze data that isn't there. If you don't have the data, you can't justify the need. If you can't justify the need your program doesn't get funded.

LINDA We would still know that rapes happened. We would still know it was a problem. Why does the gender of the victim or the perpetrator matter? It's still wrong. Part of the problem is that we act as if men and women are so different. If we let go of that idea, if we couldn't rely on these societally enforced labels to decide how we were allowed to treat each other, maybe we would start treating each other better.

SEAN I honestly still don't see how it would make a difference in most people's lives.

LINDA It does make a difference, people are discriminated against every day because of gender.

SEAN Yeah, but like I said, it's not as if most people don't still think of each other as either male or female, and it's not as if taking M or F off your driver license is going to change that. People are still going to judge each other.

LINDA It's not just about people judging each other. There's an implied privilege...

SEAN Oh, Jesus, this male privilege thing again. I get it. I'm a man. That makes me the oppressor.[11]

LINDA I'm glad you get it, and yes, it does. But that's not what I mean.

SEAN So straight privilege?[12]

LINDA No, there's privilege inherent just in fitting into the socially enforced false gender dichotomy.[13]

SEAN Gonna need you to run that one by me one more time.

LINDA Remember that SEPTA protest right before you and Amy left Philly?[14]

SEAN Yeah, it was weird. There were a bunch of gay dudes picketing them.

LINDA They weren't "a bunch of gay dudes." They were transpeople and transvestites. They were protesting because of the stickers they put on transit passes. They put a sticker on it when they sell it to you, M for male, F for female.

SEAN Oh yeah, that's weird. I remember the first time I bought one it was a Monday and I thought the M was for Monday, like, so I would know when to buy a new one. And then I saw Amy's and figured she must have gotten hers on a Friday, heh, then, I bought one on a Wednesday and I thought... M... upside-down, double-u... heh... ah... not funny.

LINDA Not so much, no. They put the stickers on there because you're not supposed to share passes. It's a way for agents and conductors to know if you're using someone else's pass.[15]

SEAN Yeah, I remember. And it's dumb. If I gave my pass to Amy I guess they'd know. But I could still give it to Steve if I wanted.

LINDA Right. But if you were trans, if you were born with a gender expression that didn't match your gender identity, if you live and dress as a woman, and a conductor sees you, and you have a card with an M sticker, he can kick you off a train.[16]

SEAN Well, if I live as a woman I'd buy one with an F.

LINDA So then he decides you're a man and he kicks you off anyway. It's a catch-22. If a conductor or an agent sees someone get on a train or a bus and they don't like the look of them, if they think they're cross-dressing or if they think they might be trans or even if they just think they look funny, all they had to do was ask to see your pass, and kick you off.[17]

SEAN Wow. That sucks.

LINDA Even if you tried to buy a card with a sticker that matched your identity they might not sell it to you. The people working the counter put the sticker on it. They decide when they sell it to you. If they decide you're a man, that's the card you get.[18]

SEAN That... also sucks.

LINDA Yes, it does. And they stopped doing that in Philadelphia.[19]

SEAN So problem solved.

LINDA That problem is solved in Philly. But what if a trans person is pulled over by a traffic cop who decides they don't match their license?

SEAN There'd be trouble I guess.

LINDA There would be a lot of trouble. And that's not the only problem transpeople have with the police. They're assaulted by the police pretty regularly.[20]

SEAN Yeah but I'm not condoning that. I just don't think...

LINDA I know you don't condone that. But look, transpeople are assaulted and killed a lot more often than cisgendered people.[21]

SEAN Siss-what?

LINDA Cisgender. Transgender is someone who's gender identity doesn't match their gender expression.[22]

SEAN Okay...

LINDA Cisgender is someone who does. Someone who's identity matches the... biology.[23]

SEAN You mean normal people.

LINDA I get that you think this is weird. But calling yourself normal implies that people who aren't like you aren't normal. It's oppressive language.

SEAN Oppressive. Great. Look, I'm not oppressing anybody. I'm cool with people living however they want, and deciding to be whoever they want. Define yourself however you want. But why do you gotta redefine ME? I'm not cisgender or siss-anything. I'm just this guy, you know? Why do you have to make up a new word for who I am? I'm not the one that's confused about who I am.

LINDA Transpeople aren't confused either. Most of them know who they are and are just fine with it. As far as they're concerned it's everyone else who's confused.

SEAN Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

LINDA I'm not trying to give you a hard time. It's just that saying they're confused isn't a cool way to characterize this. And if you don't want someone else defining you then you get exactly what this is about. I know that you find the trans thing strange, a lot of people do. But that's not the whole issue. It's not just about trans people. It's not just about gay people. It's about everyone.

SEAN Not me.

LINDA You were just telling me how it affects you. I don't want to see it happen. But if you go to court, if you and Amy split up, you might not get to see James, not because you did anything wrong, just because you're a man.[24]

SEAN Yeah, okay, but...

LINDA The only reason you feel like it doesn't affect you is because you are a man, and because your identity matches what other people perceive your identity to be.

SEAN Okay, Okay...

LINDA So it affects you less than it affects anyone else. But it does affect everyone. It limits people's rights. Infringing anyone's rights infringes everyone's rights.

SEAN So no sex on your driver license or your subway pass or your passport. You don't record it on your, what, legal documents. Guess it would solve the whole same-sex marriage thing.

LINDA If there we didn't legally define gender, then yes. That would solve it.

SEAN And so, what next? No more men's and women's sections in department stores? Co-ed toilets?

LINDA Changing legal definitions of sex or gender isn't going to change the entire culture overnight. You're not going to have to change what you call yourself, and you don't have to start wearing skirts.

SEAN That's too bad because I would look GREAT.

LINDA All this is going to do is allow people to live in keeping with their identity without suffering as much discrimination as they do now. And what would be wrong with co-ed toilets?

SEAN I don't know. I walked into a ladies room by accident once and there was a whole lot of screaming. So you tell me.

LINDA Well what do you think they were screaming about?

SEAN Maybe they thought I'd see someone's junk.

LINDA Maybe if it was a locker room. But do you think they were walking around a public restroom naked?

SEAN I don't know. No. What are you getting at?

LINDA What I'm getting at is that if you walked into a ladies' room by accident and someone screamed she was either surprised or scared, probably both. And if she was scared, that's sad. You said earlier, women are sexually assaulted more than men.

SEAN Yeah. It sucks. It's horrible. But I just made a mistake. I didn't, I wasn't in there to even... I mean, I just had to take a leak.

LINDA So don't you think it would be better if we lived in a society where everyone respected everyone else's bodily sovereignty such that a woman no longer had to be afraid of being alone in a toilet with a man she doesn't know?

SEAN Bodily sovereignty? Why you gotta make everything so complicated? Why you gotta try and make it sound fancy when all you mean is nobody oughta mess with anybody else?

LINDA Whatever you want to call it, wouldn't that be better?

SEAN Well, yeah. Of course.

LINDA This isn't about getting anyone to change their own identity or how they live. But it is about changing society for the better, for everyone. Everyone ought to feel safe when they're vulnerable. Everyone should feel protected.

SEAN Yeah? And everyone oughta have a pony. I mean, what you're talking about sounds really nice and really unrealistic. People are dicks. Changing their driver's license isn't going to change that.

LINDA Probably not. But it might give them one less thing to be a dick about.

SEAN I guess I see your point. But you and I are never going to solve the problem right here, right now, over coffee.

LINDA No.

SEAN So do you want one sugar or two?

Works Cited

Alkadry, Mohamad G. "Covert Pay Discrimination: How Authority Predicts Pay Differences between Women and Men." Public Administration Review 71.5 (2011): 740-50. JSTOR. Web. 03 Apr. 2014. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2307/23017441?ref=search-gateway:eddc5b312375ae0b0ea3249fcc7046e6>.

Dreger, Alice Domurat. Hermaphrodites and the Medical Invention of Sex. Cambridge, MA: Harvard UP, 1998. Print.

Eroğlu, E., G. Tekant, G. Gündoğdu, H. Emir, O. Ercan, Y. Söylet, and N. Danişmend. "Feminizing Surgical Management of Intersex Patients." Pediatric Surgery International 20.7 (2004): 543-47. Print.

Feigenbaum, Erika Faith. "Heterosexual Privilege: The Political and the Personal." Hypatia 22.1, Writing Against Heterosexism (2007): 1-9. JSTOR. Web. 03 Apr. 2014. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2307/4640040?ref=search-gateway:eefc2ea3eae5e5ea7894687a9c243c72>.

Germon, Jennifer. Gender: A Genealogy of an Idea. New York, NY: Palgrave Macmillan, 2009. Print.

Preves, Sharon E. "Sexing the Intersexed: An Analysis of Sociocultural Responses to Intersexuality." Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society 27.2 (2002): 523. Print.

riders against gender exclusion. Philly Rage. n.p., n.d., Web. 31 Mar. 2014.

S., Kathy. "Male Privilege." Off Our Backs 22.10 (1992): 21. JSTOR. Web. 03 Apr. 2014. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2307/20834280?ref=search-gateway:6ad0c9095a4695cfa0a108ad12a6c743>.

Schafran, Lynn Hecht. "Gender Bias in Family Courts: Why Prejudice Permeates the Process." Family Advocate 17.1 (1994): 22-28. JSTOR. Web. 03 Apr. 2014. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2307/25805656?ref=search-gateway:f670b242692c4ace72307a37ede16644>.

Shepherd, Laura J. "Trans- Bodies In/of War(s): Cisprivilege and Contemporary Security Strategy." Feminist Review No. 101.Conflict (2012): 5-23. JSTOR. Web. 03 Apr. 2014. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2307/41495230?ref=search-gateway:efe3b9447a15810889cd9bdaa4d8a077>.

"Statistics." RAINN. Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, 2009. Web. 02 Apr. 2014.

Yacka, Sue. National Report on Hate Violence Against Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and HIV-Affected Communities Released Today. National Coalition of Anti-Violence Campaigns. 4 Jun. 2013. Web. 31 Mar. 2014.

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[1] Germon, Jennifer. Gender: A Genealogy of an Idea

[2] Germon, Jennifer. Gender: A Genealogy of an Idea

[3] Dreger, Alice Domurat. Hermaphrodites and the Medical Invention of Sex. 

[4] http://www.isna.org/faq/hermaphrodite

[5] Dreger, Alice Domurat. Hermaphrodites and the Medical Invention of Sex. 

[6] Eroğlu, E., G. Tekant, G. Gündoğdu, H. Emir, O. Ercan, Y. Söylet, and N. Danişmend. "Feminizing Surgical Management of Intersex Patients."

[7] Preves, Sharon E. "Sexing the Intersexed: An Analysis of Sociocultural Responses to Intersexuality."

[8] Alkadry, Mohamad G. "Covert Pay Discrimination: How Authority Predicts Pay Differences between Women and Men."

[9] Schafran, Lynn Hecht. "Gender Bias in Family Courts: Why Prejudice Permeates the Process."

[10] www.rainn.org

[11] S. Kathy. "Male Privilege"

[12] Feigenbaum. "Heterosexual Privilege: The Political and the Personal"

[13] Shepherd. "Trans- Bodies In/of War(s): Cisprivilege and Contemporary Security Strategy"

[14] phillyrage.org

[15] phillyrage.org

[16] phillyrage.org

[17] phillyrage.org

[18] phillyrage.org

[19] phillyrage.org

[20] National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs

[21] National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs

[22] phillyrage.com

[23] Shepherd. "Trans- Bodies In/of War(s): Cisprivilege and Contemporary Security Strategy"

[24] Schafran, Lynn Hecht. "Gender Bias in Family Courts: Why Prejudice Permeates the Process."